Disclaimer: This list may be fairly specific to the traits of one Mr NW…
1. Don’t lend their books to anyone.
Just don’t. It’s not worth the pain. In fact don’t let them lend their books either. Mr NW once lent a book to his sister but bought a replacement copy immediately in case he didn’t get it back. Now we have two identical copies.
2. Don’t ask why there are multiple copies of the same book.
Of course you need the hardback and the paperback and the updated artwork and the 10th anniversary version.
3. Don’t attempt to mix your books with their books.
There are two castes of bookcases in our house. We have the general family bookcases and then we have the reserved bookcases (see below). The general ones are cheap and made from MDF. The reserved ones are solid wood. There is absolutely no mixing of collected books with the general riff raff I bring home.
4. Don’t attempt to put any of their books away.
The organisational system must be obeyed. It’s not intuitive. You think you are helping but you are are not.
5. Don’t be surprised when courier packages keep arriving on your doorstep.
I asked Mr NW the other day how many of the books in his collection he had actually read. He reckons it’s about half. I think it might be time for a book buying ban.
6. You must take great care when transporting books from one house to another.
Don’t just throw them in a box. Mr NW obsessively checks the spines for damage.
7. If you are going to read one, always use a bookmark.
Dog-earring a book may be grounds for divorce. And definitely don’t leave them open upside down.
8. Don’t bother trying to sell the merits of e-books.
Space-saving, always with you, cheaper…none of the arguments will sway an ardent collector.
9. Don’t give the various series nicknames.
The one with the goat on it, the blue books. Apparently referring to books like this is blasphemy.
10. Pretend to be interested in discussions relating to release dates.
The Thorn of Emberlain might be coming out soon….how many times have I heard that!